No, it’s not some secret youth society devoted to my worship (applications asking permission to form such a society may be posted below, however). An esteemed colleague of mine (actually my Google-happy mother) pointed me to the website of Japanese company, Aviva Kids, who seem to be in the business of promising to make valedictorians out of young, fresh-faced Japanese children. They also appear to be offering some kind of deal involving an Aviva Kids USB drive, which is incredibly tempting but impractical considering the current capacity of my “enable disk use”-ed iPod. Maybe I’ll bookmark their site anyway, just to watch the unfolding debate in the “what’s news” section, where even as I type eminent linguists and cultural critics from seven different countries battle it out to decide what news really is. Or it could actually be a news section and the above just me once again demonstrating my pedantic jerkness. Either way.
Archive for April, 2008
Study! Be an Aviva Kid!
April 30, 2008Guangzhou: toilets and all
April 28, 2008I spent most of December 2007 in Guangzhou, a city on Mainland China close to Hong Kong. Officially I was there studying Mandarin through a scholarship from the Chinese Consulate in Melbourne (who knew sappy essay competitions could get you so far?), and unofficially I was there spending my savings on cheap DVDs, stationery and sesame balls (麻求). Really, though, I learnt many important phrases there like, “虽然他午饭的味道不错，但我觉得我的午饭比他更辣” (”Although his lunch’s flavour isn’t too bad, I think mine is spicier”), and “见到了那个蝗虫真让我大吃一惊!” (”Seeing that locust made me flabbergasted!”). I also watched enough Zhang Yimou films to last me several lifetimes, and thanks to Farewell my Concubine, I will now have to bludgeon anyone who mentions Beijing Opera in my presence to death with my iPod.
Moving on though, I thought I’d post some photos of my time at South China University of Technology (华南理工大学), affectionately known as SCUT, for all to see:
This was the shower/toilet combo I shared with my roommate, accessed via the balcony. Originally the water was coming out red (rust? Terracotta residue?), but the water came out hot almost instantly, which is more than I can say for my shower at home. The toilet’s seat shattered part way through our first week (we didn’t have to pay for it, thankfully. They’re probably so used to it they have a Lavatory Fund, or something), and we soon learnt that flushing toilet paper was only a recipe for blockage. One of my most vivid memories of the whole trip, in fact, was chanting “厕所” (toilet) at the Dorm Supervisor and miming a plunger. (more…)
Witty banter shall abound
April 25, 2008The great news is I’ve been invited to speak at this year’s Children’s Book Council of Australia Annual Conference and Expo, on Friday May 2nd. I’ll be discussing “how teenagers get published” on a panel called “New Voices”. My panel mates are multi-book young authors Jack Heath and Alexandra Adornetto, and we will be prevented from digressing by writer and avid teenfic reader Clare Renner. I’ve only been given the sketchiest details about how things will run on the day, but I’m starting to get used to impromptu articulation of subjects people think I know more about than I actually do, so I’m not too worried (yet). This is also my first paid gig, so I’m going to be unusually consciencious and write up some cue cards *covers mouth in horror*.
I’m also getting the impression that this is very much an industry expo (aka for publishers, not random book worms off the street), which will probably make everything extra painful because I’ll want to be part of the publishing scene even more, only to remember I have to go to school relatively frequently and write that damned Art History essay with CITATION and FOOTNOTING. Yes, shed a tear for me.
Drugs
April 23, 2008Well, I never thought I could get through Year 12 alone: not only has my naturopath declared the reason my face currently resembles torn up asphalt after an a minor apocalyptic event is because I overconsume fatty cheeses (noooooo!!!), she has also prescribed large quantities of vile herbal tablets to sustain me until December, at which point I will be allowed to promptly die of cerebral exhaustion and rigor scholaris (or whatever you call seizing up after thirteen years of unergonomic classroom chairs). Until then, though, I must survive on low-fat cheeses like fetta and ricotta (not bad) and boconcini (rubber), though I’ve continued to dabble in parmesan (you CANNOT eat pasta without parmesan, damnit!) and my school canteen’s nachos, which are conveniently sinful, and also cost the same as an all-day concession metcard.
But onto the drugs:
Actium & zinc compound, as modelled by Meowth. Am I the only one who thinks “actium” sounds like a fake “-ium”?
Womens support (sic), as modelled by Gengar (this may be a gendered reading, but I find the pinkness of the tablets too predictable. Maybe I should put the Apostrophe Protection Society onto the manufacturers…)
And finally, “precious pills”, as modelled by Snorlax. With my fearsome Chinese skillz (and a handy English translation underneath) I have managed to decipher the instructions, which suggest taking 8 tablets three times a day, as opposed to the 15 pills twice daily I’ve been told to take. Apparently this is to promote “fluid retention” (I thought that was a bad thing?) and to “clear heat” (though somehow I have my doubts that this will replace air conditioners any time soon).
